DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever my girlfriend and I are intimate, she showers immediately after. At first it was just her, but now she forces me to join her in a post-intercourse shower. In these showers, I’ve noticed that she scrubs relentlessly – ferociously, even. It scares me a bit because I wonder what she’s trying to get rid of or wash away. She also changes the sheets as soon as we shower. As you can imagine, this is a tedious routine to keep up with at night when all I want to do is pass out. What do you think all this is about? – Clean Freak DEAR CLEAN FREAK: Seems that your girlfriend has some deeprooted discomfort about sexual intimacy. For some reason, she associates it with uncleanliness. Perhaps something happened in her childhood that scarred her. Maybe she listened to religious dogma about having sex before marriage being a sin, and she is trying to wash the sin away. The only way you will know is to ask her.
DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine is in a relationship, and in my opinion, her partner is not good to her. From what she tells me and what I observe, he seems selfish, abrasive, cheap and not affectionate or protective of her. At a social event, he asked me jokingly why it feels like I don’t like him. I gave him a serious answer – a diluted version of my thoughts on how he treats my friend. I did not disrespect him or raise my voice, and although he initiated this conversation, my friend is upset with me for sharing my opinion with him. Was I wrong? – Crossing the Line DEAR CROSSING THE LINE:
DEAR HARRIETTE: At the beginning of last year, I met the man of my dreams. He continues to amaze me in more ways than one: He prioritizes me; he’s really considerate and affectionate; he’s accomplished and ambitious; AND he’s hilarious. Lately, though, I’ve been having some concerns about what our future will look like. He has three children from a previous marriage.