DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling to help my mother, who is a hoarder. Growing up, our house was always cluttered, but it has gotten significantly worse over the years. Every room is packed with boxes, old furniture and things she refuses to throw away. It’s to the point where she can barely move around her home, and I worry about her safety. I’ve tried talking to her about cleaning, but she gets defensive and insists that everything has value or that she’ll get to it eventually. I’ve even offered to help organize things or hire a professional, but she shuts down the conversation immediately. I know hoarding is often tied to deeper emotional issues and I don’t want to make her feel attacked, but I also can’t stand by and watch her live like this. How can I support her without pushing too hard? – Hoarder Mom DEAR HOARDER MOM: You are right to be concerned – people do get hurt when they live in unsafe environments. Your mother needs professional help. Will she welcome it? Probably not. Do your research and find a compassionate local counselor who specializes in hoarding disorder and work with them to stage an intervention for your mother. If there are loved ones besides you who are willing to participate, that will help. It will likely be ugly at first, but you may be able to get through to your mother and have her take some steps toward purging her environment.
