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Friend squanders career opportunities

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for a while now, and with that comes a lot of work with adjacent industries like beauty and fashion. A friend of mine admires the work I do. They’ve had a longtime interest in leaving the corporate world to pursue modeling full-time, and they currently model on the side. When I share stories about events I’ve attended or people and brands I’ve worked with over the years, they’d always ask, “Why don’t you introduce me?” So more and more I’d bring up their name subtly or ask for contact info on their behalf, but whenever opportunity came knocking, my friend would make excuses. I decided to stop advocating for them. I’m not sure if it’s nerves or if they’re simply not ready for this undertaking, but either way, I decided not to prioritize helping them in that way. I expressed this to my friend recently to set a clear boundary between my career and theirs, and they accused me of “hindering” them. Am I wrong here? – Ungrateful Friend DEAR UNGRATEFUL FRIEND: You are not wrong. Remind your friend that you made an effort on a number of occasions to give them a leg up into your business, and they didn’t follow up. Your reputation is important, and if they are not going to take your introductions seriously, you cannot afford to keep making them. It makes you look bad, like you don’t have serious contacts. They are hindering themselves, whether or not they realize it. Followthrough is essential. By not doing it, they shut the door on the opportunity.

Pet owner sees cat in neighbors’ window

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, my cat went missing. I put up flyers around the neighborhood, posted on local social media pages and walked around calling her name. Then, a few days ago, I spotted her sitting in my neighbor’s window just two houses down. I’m absolutely certain it’s her: same markings, same collar, and when she saw me, she perked up and tried to get my attention. I knocked on their door to ask about it, but they acted confused and said it was a stray they recently took in. I know my cat, and I’m 100% sure she didn’t just wander in and decide to live with someone else. I’m torn because I want to confront them, but I’m afraid of causing tension or making things worse. I live here, too, and don’t want ongoing hostility. How do I go about asking for my cat back without starting a neighborhood feud? Should I involve the authorities or try to resolve it peacefully? I just want my pet home where she belongs. – My Cat DEAR MY CAT: If you are certain that is your cat, it is time to go to the police. Clearly, your neighbors have decided that your cat now belongs to them. Rather than attempting to reason with people who are unwilling to accept that the “stray” cat they found wasn’t actually a stray, get the local authorities involved to handle the situation. If you had your cat chipped when you adopted it, that will be all the proof you need.

Cousin fight changes sisters’ relationship

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have always been close, but lately, things have become tense between us, and it’s all because of our kids. Her son and my daughter go to the same school and are in the same grade. Recently, they’ve been having a lot of problems getting along.

Looking at the State Department cuts

On Friday, the Trump administration laid off about 1,350 employees at the State Department. A number of news reports described the staff cuts as “devastating.” Others suggested the downsizing will endanger U.S. national security. The New York Times said the cuts “demote longtime U.S. values,” while The Washington Post said they “will degrade America’s standing in the world and curb U.S. soft power.”

Elizabeth Ko, M.D.

Dear Doctors: I am 82 years old, and I have tested negative for Alzheimer’s disease. But I do have some cognitive dysfunction. Can this be slowed? I exercise 30 minutes a day. In addition to that, I walk at least 1 mile. I also bicycle vigorously for two six-minute periods a day. Do you think this is helping?

Weight gain makes reader self-conscious

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the past year, I’ve gained a significant amount of weight, and it’s been difficult for me emotionally and mentally. I’ve become extremely self-conscious about how I look – to the point where I sometimes avoid social situations altogether. I feel like I’m constantly comparing myself to the person I used to be, and I don’t recognize my reflection anymore.

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