Today is the 319th day of 2023 and the 54th day of autumn.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently married my wife, and her teenage son does not seem to like me at all. I believe it is because of the major changes my presence has brought into his life. His dad passed away a few years ago, and I know my arrival has disrupted the dynamics he had with his mom. I've tried to connect and bond with him, attempting to show support and care, but it seems he's resistant and distant.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 50-yearold American resident, and my parents, who are around 80, live in Ethiopia. My two siblings and I have all been out of the country since our college days, and I am starting to realize how sad it is that I haven't been able to see my parents face to face very much since I was 18. We are beginning to understand the significance of our physical absence and the impact it has had on our parents' emotional and physical health. We enjoy our regular phone calls and occasional video chats, but we recognize the limitations of these interactions in truly understanding their needs and providing the support and care they may require. How can we provide them with the support, care and presence they need during this crucial stage of their lives and maintain a strong relationship to avoid regrets once they pass on? — Disconnected DEAR DISCONNECTED: Often in families with multiple children, one adult child takes on the responsibility of looking out for the elders, particularly parents. This is common worldwide. While you and your siblings are thousands of miles away from your parents, nobody has taken on that role. You should talk together and figure out a way forward that allows for someone to spend physical time with your parents.
Death may be inevitable and universal, but the ways people deal with it most certainly are not. Whether doing Tibetan Buddhist sky burials, attending a graveside service dressed in black or putting one's parents' ashes in the sacred Ganges, each culture has its own ways to deal with death and mourning.