Partner’s phone use disrupts family time

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner has become increasingly glued to his phone, even during family time with our child. It’s frustrating to feel like he’s prioritizing his screen over meaningful moments together, especially since we already have limited time to connect due to our busy schedules. To address this, I decided to implement a no-phone rule during meals so we can focus on one another, set a good example for our daughter and have meaningful conversations as a family. While he initially agreed, he often struggles to stick to the rule, and I feel like my efforts to strengthen our family connection aren’t being taken seriously. I miss having real conversations with him and worry about how this is affecting our bond. What should I do to reinforce this boundary and encourage more meaningful interaction? – Second to the Screen DEAR SECOND TO THE SCREEN: Breaking habits takes time. Since this is important to you, now is the time for you to exercise patience and vigilance. Remind him when he goes to pick up his phone that this is family time. Get a basket and put both of your phones out of arm’s reach from the table before you sit down to eat. Silence the phones, and remind each other not to reach for them until mealtime is over. Thank your partner for following your agreement. Work with him to engage with your child. The more he does that, the more he may realize how nice it is to be fully present.

Elizabeth Ko, M.D.

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